GROWING UP

I grew up a very shy kid. Teachers would tell my parents that I'm too quiet in class, and that I need to be more involved. But I've realized over the years that I'm not shy, I am introverted. I'm simply a thoughtful and observant person, and my socializing capacity reaches it's limits after a couple of hours. Although, I was socially awkward for most of my life because of this, in recent years, I have broken out of my shell and have grown more confident in finding my own voice. I have photography and my business to thank for much of my growth.

HOW PORTRAITS CAN HEAL THE WORLD

Today, I have discovered a simple joy in talking to other people, connecting, and learning about their journey. I believe everyone has an interesting story to tell. I do my best to create a comfortable environment for anyone and everyone to open up and share their experiences. I appreciate the vulnerability and courage that goes into opening up, and honestly feel that simply talking can help people heal.

To take it one step further, I believe that great photographs can help people heal as well. Portraits can be very empowering. They allow people to see themselves in a new light, from a new perspective. They help many people find confidence in themselves they were never before able to access. Portraits are something to look back on in reflection of where you were in that particular place in your life. Whether it was joyful or difficult, it reminds you of how far you have come.

My Personal transformation

Today, I am a new man. Not only in my physical appearance, but from within as well. My transformation began with a conscious shift in my eating habits. I almost entirely cut out processed foods and sugar, dairy, meat, and replaced them with healthy alternatives in the form of organic whole foods. I didn't do it for the weight loss, although losing 40 pounds was an interesting side effect. It truly surprised me how much inflammation and fat my body was actually carrying. It made me realize how much unnecessary suffering I was putting my body through, as opposed to how my body is supposed to feel.

Gout was one of the main motivators to get my shit together. But why I really did it was for mental clarity. My mind has struggled for years with feeling foggy, with my ability to grasp and remember things, with overthinking, ruminating, and with not having the ability to grow and strengthen my mind alongside the pace of life. Not to mention the lack of energy and drive I suffered through.

Strengthening my mind through mindfulness, meditation, and self awareness has become a daily practice. I find myself being less reactive in turbulent moments, and more responsive. Every day is a new opportunity to learn, to grow, to do better, to be better, and to screw up and try again.

I do slip on my eating habits from time to time. My body immediately knows, as I begin to feel the lethargic, unfulfilling consequences of my decisions. None the less, I choose to give myself grace in those moments, instead of choosing self punishment like I did for so long. That rarely led me anywhere positive. I've been actively working to unlearn that nasty habit, and replace it with self love and acceptance.

As you can see, I also decided to grow my hair out! After 20 years of shaving my head, I realized that damage has been done to my hair follicles. Hence, the balding on top. Granted, it seems to also be hereditary. I've been using essential oils in hopes of healing the damage and regrowing what was once lost. I'm curious to see how that small part of me flourishes, as I rediscover who I truly am. Every day I stand and look in the mirror, observing the stranger standing there, shirtless and looking back at me. A body shape I am unfamiliar with. My face has also changed.. it has taken me a while to recognize it.

I see my brother in me.. I see my father as well. It seems it has taken me 34 years to finally see MYSELF in me.